Newsletter for April 20, 2007
HELP Center Announcements
Save the Dates: Wednesdays 12:00 – 2:00
Student Parent HELP Center Group Updates:
The Student Parent HELP Center meets weekly on Wednesdays from 12-2 in Room 24, Appleby Hall. We provide a nice lunch for FREE for those folks who can attend for the majority of the session.
The weekly discussions are based on the input we receive from student parents throughout the course of the semester. Each week, we will try to provide as much information and sharing as possible among student parents, as we feel you are the experts on your experiences as parents. The input you receive from group can be used, or not used, based on your discretion; some tips will always work better for some than others. We love to have you share and we look forward to hearing from you throughout the semester!
Here are some of the upcoming topics and speakers for group.
Wednesday April 18: Jan Merrell, UCC will come discuss sleep and sleeping habits.
Wednesday May 2: Last group for the semester. Group will resume for fall semester 2007.
Any suggestions or questions, please ask Jerri Wagner or Ali Cain.
We Need You…
The Student Parent HELP Center in collaboration with the Student Parent Association (SPA), is planning another Student Parent Visibility Day. We will need volunteers, from a variety of academic majors, to share your experience with teen parents visiting the U of M from three different teen parenting programs in the metro area. Mark your calendars for Tuesday May 1, 2007, from 11:00 – 2:00, outside of Morrill Hall on Northrop Plaza. If you are interested please let us know by emailing sphc@umn.edu, there will be free food!!! We are expecting over 100 teen parents and REALLY need your help to make this a good experience for them. The eyes of campus will also be on all U of M Student Parents that day, so we need students to just show up and be there for the event as well, even if you do not want to be a discussion leader. Bring friends, invite your professors and advisors and other supporters. Let’s have a great student parent turn out for this event. The kids, as always, are welcome!!!!
Mark your Calendar…
The End of the Year Celebration will be held this year on May 12, 2007 from 1 PM – 3:30 PM. This celebration is a chance for students and families to get together and honor student parents who have graduated over the past academic year. All students and families are welcome to attend the event. The event will be held at Van Cleve Park in Minneapolis. We sent out an electronic invitation (eVite) through email.
New Moms or Mom-to-be Group
On Friday March 9th we held a group for new mothers or expecting mothers to get together. Due to the success of this event we have scheduled two more dates where we hope we can get everyone together again. This group is open any mother who became a parent or will become a parent during the academic year (June 2006 – June 2007). Please come with ideas to share or topics you would like to discuss. Mark the following dates on your calendar and we hope you can make it.
Friday April 20th from 11:00 am – 12:30 pm Location: 151 Appleby Hall
Friday May 4th from 11:00 am – 12:30 pm Location: 351 Appleby Hall
Student Parent Association (SPA) Announcements
Greetings SPA supporters!
We have some great activities coming up!
April 1 (Sunday) we will be having a movie night at the Commonwealth Terrace Cooperative (University Student Family Housing south of the St. Paul campus) from 5:30-8:30pm. We will be meeting in the Fireplace Room. See links for directions: http://www.umnctc.org/MapOfCTC.aspx http://www.umnctc.org/location.aspx
April 22 (Sunday) we will be having a movie night again at Commonwealth Terrace Cooperative in the Fireplace Room from 5-8pm. We will also be making t-shirts for the Student Parent Visibility Day on May 1st.
We hope you can join us and our families for these great events!!!
Sincerely, SPA officers
Nicole Mjelde, Blia Xiong, Skylar Kidnie, Emily Schmall, Lisa Coleman, Kristina Erstad
For more information or to contact SPA please email them at umspa@umn.edu
Recipe
Karl Jahnke’s Mother’s Pizza Recipe
This is a recipe my mom gave me. She didn't make it very often but it was a great surprise when she did. Last January I ordered a pizza from one of the chains and realized I was getting screwed. I remembered then that this recipe existed and insisted on my mom digging it up (her recipe box is more like a pile) we found it and since then I have made it with my daughter every weekend. It's really cheap and tastes really good. There are infinite possibilities for toppings and it is a full participation event. Amelia is almost three and she loves to help mix and knead the dough (and eat it too)
then she usually fills up on the toppings before it gets into the oven. You just have to make it a few times to get a feel for the nuances of the dough. It can be less or more stretchy depending.
Homemade Pizza Dough
1 packet yeast
3/4 cup warm water
1 table spoon oil
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon sugar
2 cups unbleached flour
Put yeast in water and let dissolve 5 min add salt, sugar, oil mixing well between each add flour one cup at a time and knead dough thoroughly put dough ball in warm bowl and cover (I use a clean, dark dish towel) and let rise for 1 hour.
Roll or stretch out dough and put toppings on bake in oven 350 degrees for about 12-15 min. Check often.
Tips: I suggest lightly oiling the bowl so that it doesn't stick when you pull it back out. Also I lightly oil the pan too (I always make rectangle pizzas on a regular cooking sheet that's what I have around). I have experimented with oiling the crust a little to get it more or less browned and crisp too.
I save a lot of money and enjoy the activity with my daughter, she loves having "pizza party" on the weekends.
Parenting Information
The Spanking Debate
By Natalie Lorenzi, taken from Prevention Works Spring 2007
The Bottom Line
No parenting issue sparks more debate than spanking. Although the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) discourages all corporal punishment, an estimated 90 percent of parents have spanked. Yet most of these parents are not pro-spanking. According to a study from the State University of New York (SUNY) at Buffalo, 85 percent of those who spank would rather not. While some parents advocate spanking and others shun it, most Americans fall somewhere in between. Here, experts respond to four families’ stances on this emotional issue.
No-Spanking Policy We have never spanked our children, and we never will.
Dave Taylor and his wife, Linda of Boulder, Colorado, have never raised a hand to their children, Ashley, 10, Gareth, 6, and Kiana, 2. “We’re both very concerned in how violent our society is. We don’t have to have that come into our home,” Taylor says. But he is careful to point out that no spanking doesn’t mean no discipline. The Taylors use time-outs and logical consequences when their kids misbehave. For instance, after their son deliberately broke a chair, he had to use his allowance to replace it. “I bet that’s a more impressive lesson than me pulling him over my knee and spanking him,” Taylor says.
The Experts Respond:
According to the AAP, taking away privileges and issuing time-out yields better results than spanking. “The AAP doesn’t endorse spanking, because it is not effective in the long term, can hurt a child’s self-esteem, and can cause physical harm,” says pediatrician William Coleman, MD, of the Center for Development and Learning at the University of North Carolina, in Chapel Hill, and the chair of the AAP’s committee on psychosocial aspects of child and family health.
“Parents who don’t spank their children still discipline; they just do it in ways that don’t involve hitting,” says Elizabeth Gershoff, PhD, assistant professor at the School of Social Work at the University of Michigan, in Ann Arbor. Although some parents may equate spanking with discipline, Gershoff says the two are not synonymous: “Discipline is teaching; spanking is punishment.”
Ex-Spanker I once believed in spanking – not anymore.
Linda Doty, of St. Louis, Missouri, mother of Katie, 23, Amber, 21, Sarah, 10, Jayden, 4, and Raena, 2, spanked her oldest daughters when they are little. “I was a young mother, and I thought spanking was just what was done,” she says. Doty knew experts cautioned against lashing out in anger, so when she found herself chasing her daughter up the stairs to give her a spanking, that was her “light bulb” moment. “How can this not be in anger? I’m chasing her for it,” Doty says. “It was the last time I ever spanked.”
The Experts Respond:
Doty is certainly not the only parent who has spanked in anger and frustration. According to the SUNY study, 85 percent of parents report feeling angry and agitated when they spank. And those emotions can be difficult to rein in. “The intensity will continue to rise if the parent continues to be physical,” says Dr. Coleman. And that increases the risk of abuse. Gershoff agrees. In 2002, she analyzed 88 different spanking studies and found 10 negative outcomes in those who are spanked – including higher risk for aggression and abuse of their own kids or spouse down the line.
Robert Larzelere, PhD, associate professor of human development and family science at Oklahoma State University, in Stillwater, cautions that spanking in frustration sends a message that “if you’re frusterated, you can just lash out at whoever you’re mad at.” And that’s not the lesson parents want to teach.
Regretful Spankers We spank, but we wish we didn’t.
Ken and Molly Crandall, of Nassau, New York, parents of Julia, 5, and Jackson, 3, never thought they would spank. “We knew we didn’t want to raise an aggressive or bullying child,” says Ken Crandall. So why do they resort to spanking? “We’ve used it when we’re at the end of our ropes,” he says. But spanking hasn’t worked for them. “It gets Julia to respond out of fear, and we just don’t feel right about doing it. Plus we feel guilty when we punish her.” Although they’d like to stop spanking, “to say that we won’t resort to it again – we probably can’t say that.”
The Experts Respond:
Gershoff has seen similar scenarios with other parents who spank and later regret it. “They realize the contradiction between what they’re saying and what they’re doing. Children begin to fear their parents. And when parents see that, some of them decide not to hit anymore. “
“Almost all of us lose it,” says Linda Pearson, RN, a psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner, in Lakewood, Colorado, and author of The Discipline Miracle. “But instead of swatting, why don’t we substitute consequences?” She advocates using time-outs, withdrawing a child’s priviliges for misbehavior, and rewarding good behavior with “goodies.” When parents lament about their disrespectful kids, Pearson asks why they continue to allow their children to watch favorite television shows and have their friends over to play. “Parents forget that a child has to earn these special treats.” And rewarding good behavior yields far better results than spanking, she says.
Pro Spanking We believe spankings works.
“An effective discipline regimen has a variety of things – time-outs, separating kids from activates. Logical consequences – and we use spanking too,” says Jason Berggren, of Atlanta. When his boys, Aiden, 4, and Logan, 2, are defiant, Berggren and his wife, Lisa, give one warning. If the boys don’t comply, they get a spanking. Immediately afterward, the Berggren’s discuss the reason for spanking with their boys.
The Experts Respond:
Larzelere condones conditional spanking – reasoning first, nonphysical punishment second, and if a child is still defiant, then an open-handed, two-swat spank on the buttocks for kids ages 2 to 6. But he adds a crucial caveat: “If parents are at risk for getting out of control, they need to do something to calm themselves down.”
Once parents lose control, however, it’s not always easy to get it back. The AAP reports that 44 percent of parents spank because they “lose it.” And even if a parent could deliver a spanking calmly 100 percent of the time, spanking is simply not effective over time.
“If children are hit, they’ll stop what they’re doing right away. But they will not stop in the future,” Gershoff says. “When people say that spanking works, they’re probably spanking and doing something else. They get the child’s attention by spanking, and then they talk to the child about what he or she did wrong. Hitting, unfortunately, is one way to get a child’s attention, but there are lots of other ways.” Speaking in a stern tone of voice or touching a child on the arm are nonviolent alternatives for getting a child’s attention. Of her own children, 4 and 2, Gershoff says, “One of the things I’m always trying to teach them is to not hit each other. Why in the world would I hit them if that’s the message I’m trying to teach?”
Time-Out Tips
From Prevention Works Spring 2007
Many parents turn to spanking when a time-out goes awry. Pete Stavinoha, MD, pediatric neuropsychologist at Children’s Medical Center of Dallas, offers these tips for getting the most of time-outs:
Before a Time-Out
- Praise your child for goop behavior
- Role-play a time-out (when your child isn’t in trouble), so s/he’ll know what to expect
During a Time-Out
- Be firm and in control, not overly emotional
- Don’t give your child any attention – positive or negative
- If your child refuses to stay in time-out, try holding her in the time-out until she’s calm, without cuddling
- The time-out should end whenever your child is calm and ready to make the situation right again. A general guideline: one minute per year of the child’s age
After a Time-Out
- Don’t rehash the infraction
Have your child pay restitution, such as apologizing or completing a task that s/he should have finished before. Then give her/him a clean slate.
Events
Family Puppet Festival
Saturday April 28, 1 pm – 4:30 pm, Free
Puppet shows, videos, art activities, and more.
Spirit of Hope Unitied Methodist Church
7600 Harold Ave, Golden Valley
For more information: 763-545-0239
Children’s Day Celebration
Sunday April 29th, 1 pm – 5 pm, Free
Games, activites, piñatas, raffle, educational resource fair, and presentation by La Escuelita youth.
Center for Independent Artists
4137 Bloomington Ave S., Minneapolis
For more information: 612-724-8392
Free First Saturday: Paper Trails
Saturday May 5th, 10 am – 5 pm, Free
Gallery crawls, kite-decorating, dance by Hijack, art projects, screening of ‘Folklore Restaurant’, and storytelling.
Walker Art Center
1750 Hennepin Ave, Minneapolis
For more information: 612-375-7600
Korean Children’s Day
Saturday May 5th, 10 am – Noon, Free
Cultural activities for families, screening of ‘Lazy’ and more.
Nolte Center Lounge, University of Minnesota
315 Pillsbury Dr SE
For more information: 612-626-7705
May Day Celebration
Monday May 7th, 1 pm to dusk, Free
Featuring a parade, tree of life ceremony, info on local grassroots organizations, performances, food and more.
Powderhorn Park
35th Street and 15th Ave S, Minneapolis
For more information call: 612-721-2535 or go to www.hobt.org
Cool Web Resource
This is a useful website that contains health information for the whole family. It has a section on parents and kids that contains a bunch of useful information. There is even a section that is geared directly toward kids with articles written for children. Check it out!
Important Grants Update
Post Secondary Child Care Grant (PSCCG): New money was received from the state of Minnesota MNHESO (Minnesota Higher Education Services Office), and we were able to serve all waitlisted students for spring 2007 PSCCG program.
CCAMPIS: All applications have been processed and the awards are now being prepared for disbursement to child care providers. Child care centers should receive their checks from the U of MN by approximately April 1, 2007. There is no longer any money left in this grant fund for 2006-2007. As of fall 2007 the Department Education is insisting that all students wishing to receive CCAMPIS funding must use licensed AND FULLY accredited child care center programs ONLY. If you received CCAMPIS funds for 2006-2007 and were using a licensed, non-accredited center you will have to contact us and inform us you have changed to an accredited center prior to August 2007 to remain on this grant OR if you have MN State Grant eligibility and do NOT want to switch child care centers you can contact us by calling 612-626-6015 and we will screen you for Post Secondary Child Care Grant eligibility for fall 2007. WE HAVE NO CCAMPIS FUNDS AVAILABLE FOR SUMMER 2007.
TAP: Due to the ever increasing demand for child care assistance the SPHC was forced to use all of our remaining emergency funds for spring 2007 child care grants. At this point in time this fund is depleted until we are able to raise more money. The SPHC will not be able to offer emergency assistance grants until further notice.
If you have any questions regarding the grants please contact the office at 612-626-6015.
All programs of the SPHC are available to undergraduates only
Who’s Who at SPHC
Susan Warfield, MSW, LICSW
As the Director of the SPHC, I am responsible for overseeing all programs of the Student Parent HELP Center and supervising SPHC staff. This has meant that I have had to step back from having the degree of direct contact with students I have always enjoyed having. This has been a difficult but necessary step for me to take in order to meet the needs of our growing program. If you have an issue that absolutely cannot be addressed by another SPHC staff member, you may schedule an appointment with me. These appointments should be booked through the SPHC front desk. Intakes and basic questions about services offered should be directed to Jerri Wagner, Melissa Schmidt, Ali Cain, or Zer Xiong. I am entering my 7th year with the HELP Center and during this journey have moved from staff, to Coordinator and now Director. With this evolution has come an increase in responsibilities and duties. Please know that even though you may not see as much of me in the actual Center as you may have in the past, I continue to work each and every day to bring you the programming, funding and visibility on campus that student parents need to have a successful experience at the U of MN. We are experiencing a bit of a crisis on the private child care funding side and I really need to devote most of my attention this year to finding more child care assistance and emergency grant funding in order to keep up with demand. Have no fear; you will continue to hear my raucous laughter echoing through the SPHC!
Jerri Wagner, MSW, LGSW
I am the new Direct Service Program Coordinator for the Student Parent HELP Center. Originally from New York State, I graduated from Syracuse University in 2000 with an undergraduate degree in theatre, with minors in sociology and women’s studies. After undergrad, I was an AmeriCorps volunteer for one year in Chicago, teaching arts integration on the west side in a Chicago Public School. In June of 2003, I graduated with my Master’s in Social Work from the University of Chicago. While in graduate school, I served as a therapist with Chicago’s Metropolitan YWCA, working with survivors of sexual assault and their families. From 2003-2006, I coordinated two statewide youth violence prevention programs for the Illinois Center for Violence Prevention in Chicago. Prior to relocating to Minneapolis, I spent March-June of 2006 traveling and learning abroad in Kenya, Tanzania, Uganda, and Rwanda. I would love to talk about any of these varied experiences with you and really look forward to working with such an amazing and resilient population at the SPHC!
Melissa Schmidt
Hello, I am one of two social work interns at the HELP Center this year. I am in the Masters of Social Work program here at the University and am really excited to be involved in the HELP Center this year. Along with graduate school, I am also an employee at The Aurora Center here on campus. I have a son, Aiden, who was born 10/5/05. I’m looking forward to working with all of you this upcoming semester.
Ali Cain
I am pleased to be completing an internship at the Student Parent HELP Center. I am in my last year of the Masters of Social Work program at the U of M, where I also completed my undergraduate degree in Family Social Science. I have worked at a large family homeless shelter for the past five years. I am looking forward to an exciting year, working on campus alongside a great staff and motivated student parents!
Zer Xiong
Hi! It is my pleasure to be the undergraduate teaching assistant (UGTA) for the Student Parent Help Center. I am also a student parent myself. I have a son who was born on 11/27/06. Currently, I am pursuing a bachelor of arts in the Inter-College Program in the following three areas: Sociology, Family Social Science, and Public Health. Feel free to ask me any questions if you need help in the Student Parent Help Center.
Comments, questions or ideas about useful information for this newsletter can be directed to Melissa Schmidt at sphc@umn.edu.